This morning I woke up and waited for the dizziness to begin.
It didn’t disappoint.
The world’s been sliding on an erratic, slowly-shifting slant for me for a few days now, and this along with other symptoms have led me to schedule a few doctor’s appointments later this month. But the (often sideways, from lying down) perspective I’ve had for the last couple days have made me want to break the fourth wall and do two out-of-the-ordinary things here:
First, to apologize. I do apologize for not writing as often here since April. It has always seemed wildly presumptuous to me to say I’m sorry for this kind of delinquency, but when I take the view of writers whom I respect — who think of their work as spaces of hospitality — then an apology makes more sense, and I do really want to thank you for visiting and reading. I’d like to apologize not so much for less output, since inspiration and writing times aren’t things completely in my control, but for the many times I’ve held something back out of pride or fear or an insistence on perfection that might have been an encouragement.
And — thank you for the words and the responses you leave in answer to the things that are published. They help me know that I might be on the right track, and how I can hone what I’m working on to be of good use. In essence, your responses often give me the courage to keep pegging away at this means of glorifying God, especially on the gray days when I’m ready to throw in the ink-soaked towel.
Second, to ask for prayer. As I finish this note, my sense of balance is fading fast, and in a moment I’m going to retreat to a blissfully darkened room. But if I might ask for your prayers, I would be grateful to be up and about without nausea again.
I’d also like to ask how I can pray for you — because being in the dark with one’s head at rest is an undeniably fantastic place to be for intercession.
Blessings to you, friends. It’s a privilege to meet you here.